Chronological

And the word of the day is 'defenestrate' and can be used in the sentence such as 'I defenestrated my clock to see if time can fly'.

Giving

Giving is like taking when you're in the shoes of another.

Eats, Shoots and Leaves

A parachute is what a para-panda (pair of panda) would eat.

Get It?

The jokes on you if you do not comprehend the pun within this line (no pun intended).

What They Said

Joel said that whatever witty things I said during the day such as "I'm eating Sundae on a Friday" will be written here but he is wrong- sort of.

Ha Ha

I told a joke which took me nineteen years to understand.

If I Could Only Use One Word...

Stop.

Serious or Not?

I like running because running is fun but I cannot because I am too lame.

High

I thought of the perfect beer advertisement but I was too drunk to remember it.

Three Steps

First you open your eyes, then you look carefully and finally forget what you just saw.

Stuck in the Middle

Let's get to the punchline first before I tell my joke, because by the time I wait for the queue, the joke would not make sense.