The One Liner

Traffic Part 2

2009-10-19T16:28:00.002+08:00

The traffic light rule can be related to real life and it is stated that we are all at green (ready to go) until it reaches yellow (prepare to stop) and finally at red (stop) where we reconsider before getting to green (ready to go) again.

Traffic Part 1

2009-10-17T19:47:00.001+08:00

When I reach the crossroads, if I stand in the centre too long, I would get crushed but if I do take a path, I wouldn't know if I'll ever go back.

Sidedishes

2009-10-12T07:00:00.002+08:00

People who believes in examinations and quizzes without a bit of salt would live a sour, bitter or just bland life.

Out Side The Cuboid

2009-10-11T01:48:00.000+08:00

If you're caught between a rock and a hard place, explosives are needed.

Minimize

2009-09-29T01:15:00.000+08:00

If you break everything down to the core, they'll turn out to be meaningless.

Tails and Tales

2009-09-25T02:31:00.000+08:00

If 'should' and 'would' were easily done, then I should be able to run.

King Bore

2009-08-10T12:16:00.000+08:00

Would our lives ever be the same without the risks we take and how do we consider risks?

Bork Bork

2009-08-02T16:40:00.001+08:00

Masturbation is simply a way of clearing out old sperm so that the newer one might have a higher chance of being genetically better.

What You Are Called

2009-07-27T01:04:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I stay true to my name.

The Time and Place

2009-07-08T16:56:00.000+08:00

You are everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Siht Yrt

2009-06-23T00:41:00.000+08:00

Reading this backwards would make no sense at all.

Hi and Lo

2009-06-16T02:20:00.002+08:00

The feeling of sleepiness is incredible and this is how I find most of my inspiration because the theory-which seems very unlikely and I am probably making it up-is that I am in between dreamland and this world.

It's Not Big Enough For The Both Of Us

2009-06-15T01:09:00.000+08:00

That's what she said.

Yellow Trees

2009-06-13T12:37:00.000+08:00

I did not take the road less travelled- in fact, I did not take a road at all.

The Equal Sign

2009-06-11T12:47:00.000+08:00

Hypocrisy is something we all say we do not have.

Switch

2009-05-23T11:40:00.000+08:00

If I were you and you were me, the world would be pretty freaky.

Sweet Scents

2009-05-10T21:58:00.002+08:00

If I had a dime for everytime someone said 'if I had a dime...', I'd be pretty rich.

Predictablity Is Like The Ability To Predict

2009-05-05T23:57:00.002+08:00

It is a cliche thing to say that I hate cliches because someone would have probably done it before.

Live A Life

2009-05-04T20:30:00.002+08:00

One of my many fears is that when I die, I would be trapped in my thoughts under a coffin with nothing to do.

Brain Food

2009-05-03T19:59:00.001+08:00

On Labour Day (1st of May), Yoong Jie and I took Brandon and JiaMing out for Left 4 Dead and it was a fun experience.

The Factory for Satis

2009-05-02T00:47:00.002+08:00

I just love the the feeling when I randomly pick a piece of the jigsaw puzzle and it fits perfectly in place.

Chronological

2009-04-18T10:41:00.002+08:00

And the word of the day is 'defenestrate' and can be used in the sentence such as 'I defenestrated my clock to see if time can fly'.

Giving

2009-04-16T23:30:00.001+08:00

Giving is like taking when you're in the shoes of another.

Eats, Shoots and Leaves

2009-04-15T15:49:00.001+08:00

A parachute is what a para-panda (pair of panda) would eat.

Get It?

2009-04-13T00:37:00.001+08:00

The jokes on you if you do not comprehend the pun within this line (no pun intended).

What They Said

2009-04-10T23:03:00.003+08:00

Joel said that whatever witty things I said during the day such as "I'm eating Sundae on a Friday" will be written here but he is wrong- sort of.

Ha Ha

2009-04-10T01:07:00.001+08:00

I told a joke which took me nineteen years to understand.

If I Could Only Use One Word...

2009-04-09T01:01:00.000+08:00

Stop.

Serious or Not?

2009-04-07T23:51:00.000+08:00

I like running because running is fun but I cannot because I am too lame.

High

2009-04-06T21:58:00.000+08:00

I thought of the perfect beer advertisement but I was too drunk to remember it.

Three Steps

2009-04-02T22:32:00.001+08:00

First you open your eyes, then you look carefully and finally forget what you just saw.

Stuck in the Middle

2009-04-01T01:34:00.001+08:00

Let's get to the punchline first before I tell my joke, because by the time I wait for the queue, the joke would not make sense.

Sleep

2009-03-31T00:54:00.001+08:00

Do you know how important sleep is to a person because right now, at this time, I am incapable of thinking with clear thoughts and all I see are just sheeps jumping over fences.

Garfield

2009-03-29T03:06:00.003+08:00

It's 3AM, I finished 12 hours of Dawn of War 2 (courtesy of Ben) which ended at 12AM, took my shower at 12.30AM, and now I'm just chatting to Joshua, thinking 'damn, I hate the weekends sometimes'.

Why

2009-03-27T23:35:00.001+08:00

A letter and a question by the curious mind.

Nostalgia

2009-03-26T23:22:00.002+08:00

Today was the day, in time and in memory, of the same numbers and yet the different year when yesterday was today and today was tomorrow and I did not know.

Good Luck, Chuck

2009-03-25T23:09:00.002+08:00

If I had a computer in my head, I could... wait, I already do have a computer in my head and I call it my brain and this one has a mind of its own.

Inspiration I

2009-03-24T23:23:00.001+08:00

When you have nothing to write, it does not mean you ran out of ideas, it just means ideas run out from you.

Expensive for a deer

2009-03-23T14:24:00.002+08:00

Back then, oxen are very expensive, so the only people who can get a good higher education must be able to ox-ford it.

Minutes to Midnight

2009-03-22T00:42:00.002+08:00

I broke the chain of my daily posting to come up with the conclusion that Adrian Veidt (Ozymandias) is a follower of utilitarianism whereas Walter Kovacs (Rorschach) is a follower of deontology, or in other words I WATCHED the WATCHMEN.

Answer

2009-03-20T22:51:00.001+08:00

Pia once told me that she was going to make a phone call to which I reply 'can you make it play dead?'

Focus Off

2009-03-19T23:24:00.002+08:00

If there was one person with short attention span, and another with short attention span, and why is this thing so shiny?

Road kill

2009-03-18T12:22:00.002+08:00

If you run in front of a car, you'll get tyred and if you run behind, a car you'll get exhausted, but I'm running on top of the car, will I get car-ried away?

Gambling

2009-03-17T00:12:00.002+08:00

Running up to an armed robber is like playing Russian roulette with 6 out of 6 bullets and all you have to do is pray your hand will miss your head.

Stuff

2009-03-16T00:14:00.001+08:00

My brother wrote two lines on my blog but I erased it; though if he did give me three lines, I could make a triangle.

Numbers

2009-03-15T01:38:00.001+08:00

I am 1 who would want 2 go up a 3 4 a hi-5 but I would get 6 and fall down with 7 stitches, h8ing all of it all 9, counting up to 10.

Where's Waldo?

2009-03-14T01:32:00.002+08:00

To be able to blend well into the crowd, one must know how to make juice.

Don't Worry

2009-03-13T00:09:00.003+08:00

Happiness is a two way thing; your happiness is someone else's sadness, unless you're a sad clown.

Have at You

2009-03-12T00:43:00.000+08:00

Should have, could have, would have.

Mr. and Mrs. Reaper

2009-03-11T00:06:00.002+08:00

The term 'one night stand' came from way back during the medieval times when if you're the only knight standing in your force, you're so screwed.

Sham pain

2009-03-10T00:04:00.002+08:00

The level of alcohol is directly proportional to the level of consciousness, or in other words, erected to flaccid, or 'who put this floor so close to my face?'.

Scene One

2009-03-09T11:33:00.002+08:00

I had the most pornographic moment ever, or for those of you who are offended by nudity and sex, I had the most imaginative moment ever, but neither makes sense anyways.

Of Celebrations

2009-03-08T01:00:00.002+08:00

Mr. Obvious (or Dudu or Daniel) sits on the chair in the middle of the gathering (and to name a few: Marcus, two Ben's, Joel, Sean, Jeslyn, Christine, HongChun, Jenn, Jane) to celebrate Damian's birthday, turns behind to look at the freshly lit barbeque pit and says, "I wonder. Why does it smell like smoke?"

Good Day To You Too

2009-03-07T01:07:00.002+08:00

When someone says 'life rocks', I always imagined anthropomorphic (human-like) solid rocks dancing around because 'life' and 'live' do sound a lot the same through the ears.

What happened yesterday

2009-03-06T17:28:00.004+08:00

Before a three-hour-delayed gathering for JiaMing, as Brandon, YoongJie and I waited to surprise the birthday girl to arrive in her own house, while SuetFong waited somewhere else, I called Jason to tell him we were going to be late and Jason told me that Dexter said that he wanted to kill me and eat my children.

Last minute

2009-03-05T23:59:00.002+08:00

The time ticks as one more as I rush to the keyboard of my computer before the days changed from four to five, before the hour adds one more to twelve, before I fall asleep and slam my head on the table, leaving a red mark on my forehead which will tell me for the rest of my day how much of an idiot I am.

Only 76 Words

2009-03-04T22:37:00.005+08:00

When trying to create the longest sentence, you have to start with an idea, or linguistic foreplay I shall call it, which will soon turn into a string of carefully placed words from an elaborative and magniloquent vocabulary, before ending it with a curvaceous and beautiful dot by gently, and yet forcefully, pushing the pen, pencil or key deep inside the paper or keyboard respectively with no intention at all on the creations of longest sentence.

What's all this then?

2009-03-03T00:02:00.002+08:00

Ben's ambiguity is like a piece of cheese stuck between the yellow teeth of a young British boy stuck in a castle surrounded by moat on a small piece of land by the name of Apes Hall, Norfolk and he is very sarcastic indeed.

Tremors in My Mind

2009-03-02T00:03:00.002+08:00

About an hour ago I had the worst experience which was waking after only two hours of nap, dreaming about Rugrats in a water theme park.

Likes it Ruff

2009-03-01T00:10:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, When Gracie said she lost her voice and sounded like a hooker, I accidentally called her a prostitute who liked hoarse sex.

Potty Training

2009-02-28T00:01:00.008+08:00

The only difference between constipation and childbirth is that one is shit and the other one might become shit (and I sure as hell don't want my fæces to become shit).

A bar called 'Walk-into-a'

2009-02-27T08:53:00.001+08:00

These one liners aren't pickup lines but if you do try, please do tell me the result.

Vroom, vroom

2009-02-26T11:41:00.005+08:00

When Joshua tells you that you should not carpool with him, follow his advice, because in the end, you will probablyfind your vehicle in the deep end of the water

Mule too

2009-02-25T11:41:00.003+08:00

My friend, Pia, called me a 'lameass' once to which I responded, "Who crippled that donkey?"

Curses

2009-02-24T20:43:00.001+08:00

Why the hell would people create damn swear words if they're not going to effing use them?

Fullstops

2009-02-23T23:00:00.000+08:00

I noticed something about my posts: periods will be my enemy (pun intended).

Schrodinger's cat

2009-02-22T07:15:00.000+08:00

If there is a cat in a metallic, soundproof box and that box contained a timer (which will be activated by the random decay of an atom) that will release poison (with the intention of killing the cat), the cat is said to be in the state of both alive and dead due to the lone fact that we cannot observe it; but I'm pretty sure the cat would be dead.

Introduction

2009-02-21T17:40:00.000+08:00

Welcome to the blog where I try to cram my thoughts, ideas and imagination (sometimes with imagery) into one (almost) gramatically correct sentence.