Sham pain

The level of alcohol is directly proportional to the level of consciousness, or in other words, erected to flaccid, or 'who put this floor so close to my face?'.

Scene One

I had the most pornographic moment ever, or for those of you who are offended by nudity and sex, I had the most imaginative moment ever, but neither makes sense anyways.

Of Celebrations

Mr. Obvious (or Dudu or Daniel) sits on the chair in the middle of the gathering (and to name a few: Marcus, two Ben's, Joel, Sean, Jeslyn, Christine, HongChun, Jenn, Jane) to celebrate Damian's birthday, turns behind to look at the freshly lit barbeque pit and says, "I wonder. Why does it smell like smoke?"

Good Day To You Too

When someone says 'life rocks', I always imagined anthropomorphic (human-like) solid rocks dancing around because 'life' and 'live' do sound a lot the same through the ears.

What happened yesterday

Before a three-hour-delayed gathering for JiaMing, as Brandon, YoongJie and I waited to surprise the birthday girl to arrive in her own house, while SuetFong waited somewhere else, I called Jason to tell him we were going to be late and Jason told me that Dexter said that he wanted to kill me and eat my children.

Last minute

The time ticks as one more as I rush to the keyboard of my computer before the days changed from four to five, before the hour adds one more to twelve, before I fall asleep and slam my head on the table, leaving a red mark on my forehead which will tell me for the rest of my day how much of an idiot I am.

Only 76 Words

When trying to create the longest sentence, you have to start with an idea, or linguistic foreplay I shall call it, which will soon turn into a string of carefully placed words from an elaborative and magniloquent vocabulary, before ending it with a curvaceous and beautiful dot by gently, and yet forcefully, pushing the pen, pencil or key deep inside the paper or keyboard respectively with no intention at all on the creations of longest sentence.

What's all this then?

Ben's ambiguity is like a piece of cheese stuck between the yellow teeth of a young British boy stuck in a castle surrounded by moat on a small piece of land by the name of Apes Hall, Norfolk and he is very sarcastic indeed.

Tremors in My Mind

About an hour ago I had the worst experience which was waking after only two hours of nap, dreaming about Rugrats in a water theme park.

Likes it Ruff

Yesterday, When Gracie said she lost her voice and sounded like a hooker, I accidentally called her a prostitute who liked hoarse sex.